


The Road He Took to Avoid It

by mithrel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Blanket Permission, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Episode: s05e10 Abandon All Hope..., Gen, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-29
Updated: 2009-11-29
Packaged: 2017-11-12 20:07:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/495178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is worried about Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Road He Took to Avoid It

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from a quote by John de La Fontaine: “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.”

Sam was worried about Dean. He knew his brother, and Dean was acting the way he had right before he’d gone to Hell, desperate and reckless. They couldn’t afford that.

Their whole family was experts in repression, but Dean had elevated it to an art form. Sam could never get him to talk if he didn’t want to. Dean took on all of his own problems, and all of Sam’s, plus the problems of anyone he thought wasn’t capable of protecting themselves. Now he had the whole world on his shoulders, literally, and Sam was afraid he would crack.

Between what he’d done in Hell, and everything that had happened since, Sam betraying him, getting addicted to the demon blood and starting the Apocalypse, Bobby getting hurt, and Lucifer raising War and Death… Sam knew Dean, and he knew if he set his mind on protecting someone and something happened to that person, Dean blamed himself, whether or not it was actually his fault. Sam was afraid that Jo’s death might be the final burden that crushed his brother.

And he had no clue what to do about it.

***

Dean knew Sam was worried about him, but he didn’t need to be. He could handle it. He didn’t have a choice. _He_ had started the Apocalypse, not Sam, and he was the only one who could stop it. He had no clue how to do that, and Lucifer and the demons had done a good job of whittling away their allies. Ash had been gone before this even started, and since then Bobby’s effectiveness in a fight had been reduced, Cas had lost his mojo, and Jo and Ellen…

He shook his head. The Colt didn’t work. _When you get back home—you say yes. You hear me? Say yes to Michael._ At the time every instinct he had had rebelled against the thought. He wasn’t a puppet for some winged bastard, and he wasn’t going to let himself be steered into some predestined path.

But now he didn’t see any other choice. Six months from now, in Detroit, Sam would say yes to Lucifer. He would think that Lucifer was jerking them around, but his future self had mentioned Detroit too…

“You OK?”

Dean jumped, and tried to pretend he hadn’t. “I’m fine!”

Sam raised his eyebrows from the door to the motel room. Dean hadn’t even heard him come in. “I wish you’d tell me how you manage it, because I’m scared shitless. I mean, we’ve got less than six months to stop Lucifer, the Colt doesn’t work, and I’m out of ideas.”

If Sam was trying to get a reaction out of him he was going to be disappointed. “We’ll think of something.”

“What if we don’t, though? Dean, the fate of the entire world is riding on this.”

“You think I don’t know that?!” Dean burst out. “I know better than you! Zach sent me into the future!”

“He what?” Sam stared at him.

“When you were gone, he zapped me to 2014.”

“And…?”

Dean shook his head. “If you think things are bad now, in five years they’ll make this look like Beverly Hills.”

Sam winced. “What happened?”

“The demons unleashed the Croatoan virus,” Dean said, his voice flat. “There were quarantine zones everywhere, and the few humans not infected were living in refugee camps. The angels had all left; Cas was still around, but he was basically human. Bobby was dead.”

“What about us?” Sam asked, sounding like he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

Dean laughed bitterly. “Well, technically we were both alive. But Dean had given up. He didn’t care anymore. He tried to take out Lucifer, using other people as decoys, and ended up getting himself killed.” He paused. “He told me to say yes to Michael when I got back.”

Sam nodded. “What about me?”

“I said he was trying to take down Lucifer,” Dean said, and Sam looked away. “‘Heavyweight showdown in Detroit. From what I understand, Sam didn’t make it.’”

“Detroit again.”

“Yeah.”

Dean scrubbed a hand over his face. “I thought I could change it, but we’re still headed that way.” He was so sick of fighting a war he couldn’t win, sick of losing people he couldn’t protect. He collapsed down onto one of the beds, not looking at Sam.

The bed sagged as Sam sat down next to him. Dean didn’t look at him, his gaze fixed on his hands. Sam put his arm around him and Dean flinched but Sam didn’t let go.

Dean let out a shuddering breath and turned toward Sam. He couldn’t do it anymore, couldn’t pretend nothing was wrong, that nothing affected him. His whole body shook, and didn’t even realize he was crying until Sam’s shoulder was soaked through.

Sam kept holding onto him, his own tears seeping into Dean’s hair.

“I don’t know what to do,” he whispered.

“We’ll figure something out,” Sam said.

Sam didn’t believe that, but he was pretending for Dean’s sake. Dean pretended to believe him for Sam’s.


End file.
